Eureka: finally realised the very reason why things have gone so wrong

I haven't had the best luck this year with men, had some pretty awful situations. I have been really upset at times saying oh its me and my friends have said its the people you choose but I have come to realise its how ive chosen which has been the biggest problem. If I think about it it becomes clear that I've chosen people on shallow, artificial and individual reasons not the ones that matter and in return for that I have been foolish they have chosen me on the important reasons and on a whole but of course you are both selecting on the same shallow reasons such as looks or how good you reckon they'll be in bed. And yet going in on such reasons I have seemed to expect something more from them when obviously its not going to be any different. It is important but its not enough and their not the highest priorities,personally I think peoples politics are a big factor for example as a collectivist I've proved I cannot be with an individualist, like oil water. You also have to think if they are single why is that? What have they done and what is there too be wary of. Another important piece of advice that a very good and wise friend of mine told me was to weigh up the negatives, for example when Ive said oh yeah he's nice but a bit of a geek that should be weighed up against for example cheat, drugs, bad temper, liar....etc. So my outlook needs to change big time, I have been unlucky but I haven't always played my part. Finally, I think initial imperfection unfolds nice surprises and surface perfection leads to nasty surprises.